My first journal ever, and not such a positive one, I'm sorry xD But I just needed to get it out..

Sometimes I can just wonder how everything can go wrong in just a matter of weeks. It all started when I got ill, about 2 weeks ago, nothing serious, just some trouble with my stomach. But after 2 days my grandma's situation went terribly bad, doctor came, nothing we could do about it, but she wouldn't have so long anymore. I think allmost the entire family came to our house to see my grandma, at that moment I didn't like it, but now I realize that it was good. After not eating for 2 days, she went to sleep, and didn't wake up anymore, it took her another 5 days to really leave earth.

Well, I cried my eyes out, but I knew that it would happen within a year, and I already had a few years to get ready for this, but still.. You know? When everybody tells you that they feel sorry for you and stuff the facts hit you like an anvil or sth.. It just hurts.
At the end of that week she was buried, and the funeral was beautiful. Again lots of people ofcourse, from who I didn't knew half of them (What didn't behold them from telling they feel for me, what I personally can't really understand.. Feeling sorry for someone you've never seen or talked to or whatever..). Tireing day, but after a few days I was kind of ready to get out of my little world again..

But then there was more bad news, the little brother of one of my friends isn't doing that well, he's getting new medicines and if that doesn't work he has to go to a hospital, pretty far away from where they live..

And more friends who aren't having the best time of the year.
It seems to me that this autumn is doomed to be sad and painfull.. If only I knew why..


But there is light at the end of the tunnel, I'm going to see Sonata Arctica live december 10th at Paradiso, Amsterdam I really can't wait, and I'm already making a shitload of plans and ideas for the day with a friend who's going too (Though half of it wouldn't even be able to get true in the most perfect situations xD)

Hope that that special day will get me back on the rails again. Because these weeks changed me.

'Nouky